The Forgetting

  He takes another drag of his cigarette. All around the snow billows, flying in waves. The smoke feels cool in his mouth and warm in his lungs; he can feel the microscopic burns in his alveoli.  To be honest it feels good with the stark blasts of wind freezing his fingers inside his worn gloves.

  The forgetting is the worst part. Worse than the pain. Worse than the soreness for weeks. Worse than the alien feeling in his own head. He allows the smoke to come out his nostrils, mixing with the frost-bitten air. To be an amnesiac is one thing, he thinks, to wake up one day having no memory of what came before; left with only general knowledge; that was one thing.

  To know when the forgetting was coming on, to brace yourself and let any possible regrets go; to wake up with the gap, the black nothing; that was another thing entirely. To live this way meant being the Swiss Cheese Man. Each time it happened, another hole was created, another memory gap. Only those crazy indigenous who practiced trepanation knew what it means to have holes in your head. Except of course that his were all internal.

  He takes one last drag from his cig and lets the butt fall onto the icy sidewalk. He crushes it under heel as his hands begin to crack in a hundred places. His arms start to elongate and expand, muscles and sinew double wrapping like a mummy's cloths. His fingers extend longer and longer, but there are no talons, no claws, no fur. Not this time.

   At work they all plead and cajole, trying to get him to come out for even just one drink. But to start a routine, to have that added familiarity waiting would simply be too much to handle. There are already enough regrets and mysteries clouding his head. Suppose he did go out with them, had a great time and kept on going week after week and got too drunk one night and lost control? What then. It was easier on everyone to just wave and say, "Maybe next time!"

  He walks down the alley toward the park. His hip shifting downwards awkwardly as his tibias and femurs shorten. His eyes start to glow with a faint green phosphorescence. This is when it always goes fuzzy. Like when you're driving and the radio gets caught between two stations. Eventually, if you drive far enough the static takes over.

  His nostrils sniff at the air, creating tiny clouds of mist. He smells cold water. The water in the retention pond a few hundred yards away. The ice is sure to be frozen as thick as cement, but his brain is no longer likely to yield to such logic. He lopes off toward the scent of the body of water, feet and dragging knuckles working in tandem.

  Reaching the water he extends a long tongue to take a drink, but the cold water gives resistance. A bellow escapes his lungs. His arms thrash wildly toward the unsatisfying water.

      THUMP - THUMP - CRUMP - THUNK

After several hammer blows of his arms the ice gives way. There's a sizable hole in the pond surely big enough to drink from. The animal in him still isn't satisfied and thrashes out one last time. The momentum carries him through the piercing cold water. This is when the static takes over. This is when the memory ends.

  Above the water his tail swings for purchase before plunging under the cold.

On a Low Ledge, Gazing Out

     One day you might find yourself sitting atop a low ledge or small cliff if you prefer. The ledge looked too high to climb up from below, but now sitting on top, you realize it would be quite easy to jump down from. The sun is rising on the horizon, the landscape is lit up beautifully as if the land itself is waking up with the rising sun.

   You decide this might be the perfect place to stop for breakfast. You call over your friends, your traveling companions that you originally mislabeled "monsters". But the word monster denotes something that by its nature is scary, misshapen, or evil.  Not one of those words could truthfully describe your friends. They are great majestic creatures with forms ranging from a giant moth, a small many-tailed fox with fiery prowess, an animated boulder, a tortoise with a tree growing from its shell, and an armored bird. Each one is an individual with different concerns. They are inquisitive, foolhardy, brash, secretive, vain.

  Together you're all a family.  They protect you and you care for them. You think how far you've traveled from home to reach this small ledge. You distribute sandwiches and think of the challenges you've surpassed. Each one was tougher, but you learned about yourself and your friends with time.

  You crossed rivers and oceans, meeting people and creatures at every turn. You scaled mountains and explored caverns full of treasures unseen. Some days you played the part of the hero, some days you were just another traveler. Oh, how you traveled! to think you'd see so many countries, towns and cities when you grew up in seclusion.

   The sun is getting ever higher in the sky, chasing away the last of the dawn's reluctant shadows. To get to the next town by lunchtime you need to leave soon. There's going to be some sort of competition there held after 2, and if its a competition then you're definitely ready to give it a try. At worst it'll be a fun diversion for the afternoon. At best you could win some prize money to cover the cost of tonight's hostel. "Everybody ready?", You ask your friends. They growl, roar, squawk, and nod their approval. "All right then, let's go!" Together you all vault the ledge and begin the trek to the next adventure.

  the other part of this story is here: Into the Tall Grass



 

Into the Tall Grass

  Around here, when you're young, and when I say young I mean real young, they  say, "Don't go into the tall grass. It's too dangerous. Stay in town." For a long time you heed the advice. Every day you go to school, learn basic math, history, science, and literature, then come home again.  Some days you walk to the local library or visit the professor in town, but you never leave the town.  Leaving town would mean entering the tall grass and why would you do something so inherently dangerous?  But time passes and curiosity tugs at the back of your mind.  Can the tall grass really be so bad?  You've seen adults leave to visit other towns, they always come back in one piece.  In fact they tend to return with an extra twinkle in their eyes, as if they saw something crazy or wonderful. The tug of curiosity grows stronger.  Its a conflict: to see what lies within and beyond the tall grass would be exciting, at the same time it would be in violation of everything they've always told you.

   One day the tug of curiosity simply becomes irresistible.  You wake up ready to see what lies beyond. You pack your knapsack with things you might need: a sandwich, bug spray, a flashlight, and a book.  You slip on your running shoes and throw on a wind-breaker.  Out the door you go to seek adventure. You approach the edge of town, the sun peeking into the sky.  For a moment you close your eyes, count to five and push all fear away, and you step into the tall grass.

   "Ha!", You think triumphantly, "This isn't dangerous at all! Its just a bunch of grass!" Right then is when the monster attacks. You cry out, frozen in place. What to do? You can't move, can't do anything and with each second the monster draws nearer. As luck would have it the monster is attacked by another monster of near equal size. So now the world is full of monsters? Well at least you're not in peril anymore. You hear a familiar voice saying, "Its about time you ventured out here, we were all beginning to wonder if you were going to.  Are you alright then? Can you run? If so meet me back at my lab. Go!"

   Without thinking, almost without breathing, you turn around and sprint. Your legs pump with strength you didn't know your little body had. Through the glass double doors of the lab you burst, collapsing into the red worn easy chair that the professor often reclines in while smoking his pipe. You pant and pant, partially animated and partially terrified of the new revelations in your life. Monsters! They weren't lying, the tall grass is dangerous, but what about the things the professor said? Almost on cue the professor walks into the lab, whistling, the second monster that resembles a large over-sized dog with fiery orange fur is in tow.

   "Well, that was thrilling, now wasn't it?", He says amiably, "I do hope you're not reeling too bad ( You are in fact a bit frozen in awe of the fiery dog curled up at your feet, but you say nothing) a little shock is good now and then. As you've probably surmised by now, our world is inhabited not just by us and animals, but also by a great range of speacies of monsters. These monsters may have strange appearances but we live in harmony with them: which is good because many of them have unimaginable powers. You might be wondering 'why keep this secret from you? Why do we forbid entry into the tall grass?' It is dually for your protection and also a challenge. The world is a formidable and dangerous place before you're ready, before you've chosen your companion for your travel's."

  You gasp, unsure if your intuition is correct. If so, this day is only getting more thrilling by by the minute.

The professor laughes, "From the look on your face, you've guessed what comes next. Its really the best part. I have a few young monsters that I've been raising as I waited for you to venture out. Each one wields a different array of powers as well as quite the different personality.  Your choice, whether you mean it to or not, will reflect your true spirit. Treat your companion well and they will do the same for you. I'll leave you to make your decision."

   He leaves and then its just you and three small be distinctly different creatures, and the fiery beast who is now snoring. Each of the three look cute and strong in their own way. You see potential in them, you think perhaps they're looking back at you thinking similar thoughts. Again, you're scared, but at the same time so alive with anticipations. You think, then ponder, then chose. And that's when your adventure truly begins.

Halloween Posts #6.5

Like I said in the last post, which knowing the way most people read websites, you have not yet seen, I have a bit of extra time now. So I guess two post monday, hope it brightens up the day. Here's song by The Automatic Automatic. It features monsters. Nuff said?


The Automatic Automatic
Monster