Sunday, May 22, 2011

Post Rapture Assesment

They said The Rapture was supposed to happen yesterday at 6 PM, but it seemed like a day just like any other, maybe a bit sunnier in the afternoon. It was quite relaxing, was the Rapture supposed to be relaxing? who knows? Through out my college town, there were still cook outs and barbecues, people laying out in the sun, frisbees being thrown, hulas hooped, bikes were rode; generally a good time was had, if the heaven's had opened up, I think people would have said "Please, a little longer, its such a nice day, it'd be a horrible waste to leave now.."

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Under the Sun's heat, under the cool earth, beneath rock and stone, under lock and key, there lay a chest. A chest that had long been forgotten; the ones who had buried it were long gone. Yet the chest was still there, waiting.

It had waited and waited, until one particularly sunny Wednesday in July. Two imaginative boys had been laying in the sun most of the afternoon, lazily watching the clouds go past, exclaiming what they thought the shapes looked like,

"Look! A turtle!"

"No! Now its a Rocket Ship!"

"That one's a mushroom!"


Then a series of odd clouds passed, almost as if the sky was trying to tell a story. The boys continued to shout what they saw..

"Look, I think that one's a shovel!"

"Those two look! like us!"

"Look an 'X'!"


Both of them together, "TREASURE?!"

So together they ran home and grabbed two shovels and ran off into the woods to find a good spot without roots to start digging. Eventually they came to an opening in the woods and started to dig.

Scoop, throw, scoop, throw, scoop, throw. On and on and on.

They got tired, but didn't stop, the cold dark earth was all around them but they kept going. The sun had gone down, and they knew they would have to take a break so their mother wouldn't kill them. So they went home. In the morning they got up extra early, did their chores as fast as possible and then ran to the hole.

The brothers dug and dug, eventually striking their shovels into a surface with a dull thud. They were more than thirty feet down by now, or had to be, they thought, the sunlight was oh so far away. They knelt down and dusted the dirt below them where they felt the thud. After a few moments a very old, worn chest began to emerge. The boys got excited with anticipation and started to uncover it faster, sweeping and scooping the dirt away with their hands.

Soon enough, the ancient chest was uncovered and the boys collapsed beside it. It was clearly locked, but maybe the lock had given way after all these years. They tried just lifting it; no luck. So they got creative, holding a shovel to the metal lock they jumped upon the shovel head and after three or four jumps, there was a loud "KLANG!" and the lock popped clean off.

The boys jumped down off their shovels and each grabbed a side of the chest lid, and heaved upwards. Inside were just a few things, a small packet, an envelope, and a few small momentos. The brothers took the envelope, opened it and the older brother read out loud:

"Dear Future Adventurers,

I hope that it was a summer day which found you digging up our treasure we left so many years ago. I would like to apologize, you were probably expecting gold or rupees, some sort of treasure that would make you rich just like me and my brother imagined as we started digging in a similar hole when we were but young lads. Now time has passed and I thought I would pay it forward for a new generation of adventurers. In the packet you will find 4 four leaf clovers, may they bring you luck in your future travels.

Yours truly,
The Brothers Matthew and Joseph
June 3rd,

The older brother dropped the letter back into the chest, and pick out the packet containing the four leaf clovers. He handed two of them to his brother. Smiling the adventurers clambered out of their hole and ran home.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The Young Path

There is a path in the woods, winding, playfully around the biggest and oldest trees. The path climbed up a small hill and back down the other side. It looped out into a grove where young animals play and romp in the spring and summertime. The path itself was fairly young, not paved, merely cleared at places, trampled at others and with shiny dirt sparkling in the sun.

On one fine sunny morning, the path was enjoying itself: the breeze was gently blowing, some mist was getting blown onto the the path cooling it down from the warm sun that was baking down. the birds were singing merrily on their branches and flying across the sky in twos and threes. The path was happy, today was a good day.

A black snake slithered from one part of the forest to another, passing briefly on the path, glad for break in the sun. the snake slithered on, remembering the happy path if he ever was to come back that way again.

The day was nice, if not certainly perfect. But like all wonderful things it couldn't last forever, and no sooner than the path had this thought, there was a disturbance in the very densely wooded part of the forest.

In that part of the woods there was a loud crash, followed shortly after by another slightly louder crash, then a softer thud. A pause of silence for a few moments then a series of squawks, squeaks, barks and roars. The forest path was worried, the forest had been peaceful for so long; whatever could be the problem now?!

From as close to the area of commotion as possible the little path found a part of itself as to see what might have happened. The path was lucky and shifted its focus to that part of the woods just in time; a stranger to the woods, a black fox with a dark red tipped tail burst across the path, shadows whooshing in its wake.


Now for some music. My friend posted this on facebook the other day, and I thought it was a pretty great cover. Enjoy

Bon Iver
Come Talk to Me (originally done by Peter Gabriel)

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Treatise on Wooing

Let's say you're at a concert, or a show, or a sporting event or maybe you're seeing a street performer do a spontaneous trick! You love to clap, everyone does! Well okay or to be fair maybe you're a person who doesn't enjoy clapping at all. But that's not really the point at all. The point is that its a time to show appreciation at the thing you're seeing, but wait! your hands are occupied! Oh no! Maybe you're drinking some sort of beverage, or holding a loved one's hand or who knows?! whatever the reason, you cannot clap, so what do you do?

Well you've got a few options: shout a "woo", or a "Yeah!", or a wolf-whistle. now I can whistle pretty well, but by no means can I do the ear-drum-splitting, two-fingers-stuck-in-the-mouth, wolf whistle that gets attention and shows appreciation. But if you can, go for it!

There also shouting "Yeah!", which I like, but I think it has some drawbacks: a) it puts some unwanted strain on the vocal chords b) I don't believe you can "yeah!" at quite as high a frequency, so if everyone else is making a lot of noise you might get drowned out in the ocean of noise.

Here we come to the final choice: The Woo. The double 'o' vowel alows for a structure giving to a greater range in frequency: you can mold the sound up and down as you yell. Making it quite versatile indeed.

But it really doesn't matter what you do, so long as you're having fun.