In the distance I can hear the faint klaxons of the approaching ambulance. I say a prayer that it will arrive in time. Your breathing is shallow and ragged as you lay on the floor broken. I want to do something, do anything, save you if I could...but I can't, there's nothing to do but hold your hand and wait. Each second folds into the next, though the ambulance never seems to get any closer. I'm terrified of what comes next, knowing they won't be fast enough, knowing that you'll be leaving me. The fear washes over me, the horrible certainty and I begin to bawl like a child knowing the world can never be put right again.
Right then your eyes flutter open halfway. You croak, "Shut up you big dope, its okay. Everything's okay." you squeeze my hand. "I can't do this without you." I argue, "You've been keeping me sane for so long. I'm scared. And I know that's not even fair to you, I should be brave right now for you." Another tear drips down my face. "Hey, I know I would be just as scared if you were the one on the floor right now." You smile reassuringly somehow, "Just take it day by day. Do that for me, please. And tell the drivers that I'm sorry for wasting their time."
I hear two more ragged breaths and then I know that you're gone. The sirens get louder and louder still, but they never arrive. The whole kitchen starts to fade bit by bit and then I'm covered in sweat in my bed, without you beside me. Its always bittersweet waking up. In real life you faded so quickly, you were practically gone as I hung up from calling for help. These dreams let me believe you're still there somehow, watching me, protecting me, that everything will actually be okay.
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