Saturday, July 30, 2011

Oh Thunder Road

Brad stood in the service plaza gazing at the brochures by the information stand. Most of the pamphlets were the normal fair, advertising local tourist spots or national parks or even "World's largest Ball of String 2 miles east". But one pamphlet caught Brad's eye, it advertised "Thunder-storm travel - Get to your destination in a fraction of the time!", Brad took the pamphlet and started flipping through it. It sounded odd, like a joke or something from a sci-fi novel, but too earnest to be either.

"Excuse me, Sir?" Brad said to get the attention of the information stand's attendant.

The attendant turned around and responded cheerily, "Yes, how may I help you?"

"Can you tell me more about this 'Thunder-Storm Travel' thing? I'm still not quite sure what it is exactly.."

The Attendant smiled as if he'd been waiting all day for this request, "Ahh, yes, Thunder-Storm Travel! Its new! And quite easy to use. If you sign up, which you can do right here, then you get a small beacon which you simply put in your front or back windshield, doesn't really matter which. Then a sort of electro-magnetic current is charged from your car straight up to the troposphere where it signals a group of nan-bots. These nano-bots then group together any extra clouds flying around and VoĆ­la! a storm is born! Then using that same electro-magnetic pulse, the storm clouds do a sort of push/pull with your car, just like opposing magnets in grade school! This allows you to get there in half the time!"

Brad stood with his mouth agape, he then closed it and nodded a bit as if he understood everything that was just said. He tried to act non-chalant, "Well, is it safe?"

The attendant smiled brightly, "Sure! Safe as can be! So long as you can keep your wits about you in a storm. And you save on gas!"

"Well, sounds too good to be true, but I guess I'll give it a try", handing over his credit card.

A few minutes later Brad walked to his car feeling quite like Jack after buying the magical beans. He applied the beacon to his front windshield, put the key in and started the ignition, Brad laughed when nothing immediately happened, then as he put the car into reverse, he heard it: the distinct crack of thunder.

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