Bit About Yourself

   Have you ever had someone come up to you at a party,  and ask this simple question, "Can you tell me a bit about yourself?" Or perhaps it was a bit more of a command, an entreaty. Like me, were you utterly lost at where to start? Perhaps you stood wondering, what bit of you did they actually want to know about? Maybe they wanted numbers and figures like how high you scored on the ACT or SAT, a recent GPA,  or a performance review at your job. Maybe the question actually was inferring a desire to know about your ambitions or future career. But how much do those answers actually tell about a person?

   I think one of the hardest things to do can be talking about oneself. I also think that being able to to it well is probably just as important a skill as active listening. If you can speak about yourself confidently and humbly without resorting to braggadocio (no one appreciates a braggart) or becoming timid, that's where the key lies.

  But again, what do people really want to know when they ask that question? Is your inquirer wondering what's new in your life right now? Would you then say how you've bought a new pet rabbit who you named Roxie? How you're teaching Roxie tricks, like how to jump through hoops, but she mostly likes to eat the spice garden you keep on the windowsill. Though now it seems like you are talking about Roxie instead of you.

  Well maybe the question was asking about your childhood. The size of the town you grew up in. The number of friends you had growing up. The time you embarrassingly wet yourself on the playground when you were scared to tell the monitor you had to go. The rolling hills that surrounded your town, encircling it like protective guards. The basketball team you played on in middle school with the absurd mascot. The hoot owls that lived in the woods and kept things from getting too quiet. The time in fifth grade when you played tag by the base of the water-tower and ran head-first into one of the steel supports while evading Harriet Elford who you had a crush on at the time. So you had to try extra hard not to cry in front of her, even though you lost one of your adult front teeth.

  And then again perhaps it was a desire to hear about your favorite things. Your favorite dinosaur. Your favorite color. Favorite animal. That time of day you are most fond of. Your favorite sibling. Your favorite subject in school. Your favorite type of tea to have in the afternoon. Favorite pizza toppings. Your favorite Ninja Turtle. Your favorite way to spell favorite: favourite. Your favorite book and subsequently genre. Favorite spot to lounge in your house. Favorite musical between the years 1975-1989. Your favorite dead musician. Your favorite haircut/style etc, etc, etc.

   Or what if they want to hear about the little almost inconsequential things about you?  That you secretly love the way that onions make your eyes water. How in spring you still cut holes in mason jar lids and catch as many lightning bugs as you can. Only to release them an hour later. It's catch and release, but with living light. That you prefer fresh ground pepper, but you would never in a million years complain at a restaurant if that's not what was offered. How you set extra sugared water out for hummingbirds in summer, hoping to see brilliantly colored ones. When you're alone how you only let fractions of songs play before skipping to the next one, scared of time wasted not listening to just the right thing. The way you hold your utensils just slightly differently than anyone else while eating. That when streetlights pop out overhead you whisper, "Dumbledore!"(That one I do). The way you use napkins daintily when others are around. And when they ask where you learned such refined manners, you always lie, hiding the truth that it was tea parties with stuffed animals when you were six.

   Maybe the questioner wants anecdotes. Like the perfect night out with friends one May that ended up with spontaneous fireworks over the city and a free meal. Or the Halloween you stayed in after all your plans fell through, but it wasn't uneventful. You ended up assisting your neighbor put out a minor fire to his dining room table and finding out that he brews his own beer. The time you woke up before dawn and decided to walk through the city and catch the sun rise. The problem was you got lost, in your own hometown no less! Fortunately getting lost led to finding a farmer's market that only came for two hours once a month. The rest of the morning was spent eating fresh bread and apples watching the sun climb into the sky.

   But maybe, just maybe, the truth is that the person at the party asking you about yourself doesn't know what they want out of your answer at all. Maybe they need a good surprise tonight.