Wash the Tears Away

  Unstable in her heels, she stumbled up the steps to the podium. She grasped the sides of the wooden box for stability and began to speak. But try as she might, no sound came from her mouth, though a solitary tear flowed down her cheek. As the droplet left her cheek to fall to the carpet she dug a silver flask from her purse and took a swig. The parents gasped, but their teenage children dressed in various shades of black followed her lead and took a swig from whatever they were carrying.

   The parents looked absolutely aghast now; as parents it was their job to look aghast and worry. Up at the podium Tiffany began to speak, this time with a bit of whiskey courage in her voice. "Daniel always said if we ever got sad, if ever a tear comes to our eyes when thinking of a friend who is too far away, then take a swig and wash the tears away. I'm not sure that was the best advice, but it seems entirely appropriate now that he's as far away as he'll ever be." Tiffany paused as a few more tears ran down her puffy cheeks. She took another swig from the flask and continued on, "Daniel was a fool. I mean that. I loved him with all my heart, but in the end he was an idiot, which is probably why we loved him in the first place. He drove too fast. He talked too fast. He cared too much. And damn it now he's gone!"

   Again Tiffany grabbed the sides of the podium for stability, "All you parents out there are probably just blaming yourselves and blaming us in the process. You know what? That's selfish. And frankly ignorant. Excuse me, but it is! Daniel was a good man...a damn good man! You can ask any person in this room. Ask them how he was able to put a smile on their face at the drop of a hat. Sure he was a fool at times and frustrating, but damnit he had a heart as big as the sun. I think that was the problem, it was too big for his chest and like a fire cracker his wick was much too short. Here's to Daniel, the one who cared beyond necessity, the one who lived as fast and full as he could right up until the end.", She took one final drink then gracefully stepped down from the podium and retook her seat. The church burst into solemn applause and more than a few tears, followed by a cheer of, "To Daniel!" and raised glasses were shared.